


Forgive Me Father

by Salvatore (NevaehHM)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Dubious Ethics, ForIHaveSinned, ForgiveMeFather, Implied Sexual Content, Kink, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Priest, naughty priest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 21:07:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20142004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NevaehHM/pseuds/Salvatore
Summary: ...for I have sinned.





	1. B E G I N N I N G

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of PURE fiction. This is not written with the intent to offend anyone or anyone’s religion. Inside is mature content not suitable for younger audiences. Please be mindful of the tags.

“Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.”

His voice alone had something stirring deep within me. Something that I haven’t felt in a long time. The feeling was like an itch I couldn’t quite scratch, but from the moment I heard his sweet voice, I knew I had to have him under me. The actual words that were coming out of his mouth missed me, but I found myself leaning closer the longer he kept talking.

Not able to resist the urge any longer, I slid the board over so I could equate a face to that angelic voice. It was only then that I noticed the tears streaming down his face and the slight tremble in his voice when he spoke.

“It’s okay, my child. Everything will be fine very soon.”


	2. G U I D A N C E   a n d   L I E S

**~Dylan~**

Sunday mornings were like my saving grace. It was the one time where my family acted as least a little bit normal. As long as the church was under the impression that our family was perfect; my parents wouldn’t concern themselves with much else.

We always sat together, but we were anything but. Father LaRosa came from the back, and once everyone was settled down, he began his sermon. As he preached, it was as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders. He then continued to lead us in prayer.

As the service was nearing an end, I could feel the pressure of having to deal with my parents press down on me. After the final amen of the closing prayer was spoken, my parents were one of the first to leave, attempting to drag me along with them until they got stopped by the Millers for a friendly chat and I was able to slip away for a bit.

I felt so oppressed in my own home that I never wanted to be there. My heart felt heavy for even thinking the way that I do, but I just can’t help it. Sometimes I felt so helpless to the point where praying wouldn’t help, and I would spend countless hours in a hidden corner crying.

“Dylan! There you are. Come here!” My mother yelled in a cheerful voice, but I knew better.

I heard the underlying venom. Once I got inside, she roughly grabbed my arm and dragged me into the living room where a stack of inappropriate magazines lay on the coffee table.

“Where did those come from?” I asked, part shocked and part curious.

“We found those in your room. You tell us?” She demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I’ve never seen those a day in my life,” I replied truthfully, but she didn’t believe a word I said.

Things like this have been happening more often recently, and I was always the one that took the physical and verbal abuse for it. The pressure was back in my chest as she continued to yell and tell me that what I was doing was a sin and that if I stayed on the path I was going down, I would inevitably end up in hell if I hadn’t made it there already; her words, not mine. It didn’t matter how much I tried to tell her otherwise, it only seemed to make her angrier.

It’s moments like this when I feel like I would be okay if she just dropped dead. I would then instantly regret even thinking about it and repent for talking badly about my parents, but it never truly stopped the thoughts. No matter how much I prayed, my feelings wouldn’t go away, and I didn’t know what to do.

My father was always silent through these ordeals and would never step in even when things turned physical. Once her yelling was over and done with, she had sent me to my room.

I quietly snuck out the house and found myself sitting in the church pew, head down and praying that God would help me through whatever test he was putting me through right now; because yes, I was telling the truth about those not being my magazines, but she was right that I was a sinner.

A hand on my shoulder made me tense the slightest bit before I realized that it was only Father LaRosa. I think he stays around late because he knows I’m here way often, in a position much like I am now; never lifting my head because I didn’t want him to see the tears that always seemed to be in my eyes after these incidents.

“May God guide you in your time of need.” Was all he said before letting go of my shoulder and continuing up the aisle and into the back.

****

I’ve done something horrible, and I’ve made it worse. I’ve committed what I consider one of the worse sins you could commit, and the worse thing is that I lied about it.

My first thought was to go to the church and confess, but even then, I felt too ashamed in myself to do so. Tired of the guilt eating me from the inside, I found myself heading to the confessional, which I’m sure no one in this town has ever used.

I stepped inside and took a seat in the little wooden chair inside and exhaled a deep breath before I began.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” Upon my words, I heard a barely audible intake of breath, and I knew that if they could see me, I would see the look of disgust at the words that came out of my mouth next. 

“I-I’m.” I exhaled a long breath.

“Father I’m romantically involved with another man... And I actually enjoy it.” I confessed.

If there wasn’t a wall between us, I’m sure I would be met with a face that showed pure disgust, maybe even hatred. 

“I don’t know what I did for this to happen, but please give me the guidance to get back on the path of God and get rid of these feelings.” My voice started to crack at this point, but I refused to cry. 

“It was only a kiss, but the worst part is that instead of stopping there, I lied to cover my actions and to hide how disgusted I am with myself.” I couldn’t hold in my emotions much longer as I let the tears fall.

“It’s okay, my child. Everything will be okay soon.” He tried to comfort me, but I was passed my tipping point.

“It’s not going to be okay. I messed everything up. I’m no good. I’m worthless, and I’m going to hell regardless of what you have to say.” At this point, I was full out bawling, but I had to get this out of my system because I’ve held it in for so long.

“I’ve lied, and that was to cover up how pathetic I am, and I hate myself for it. My mom was right for saying the things she said but for the wrong reasons. I’m never going to succeed in life because God will forever punish me for my unspeakable actions.” I continued, and the tears kept falling, this time, it was at how angry I was at myself for being a complete screw-up.

“You’re probably disgusted with me, Father. I would be too if I were forced to be where you are. I w-”

“Listen, child. You have to keep the faith, even in this moment when you feel as if God had turned his back on you, stay true to Him and you shall overcome any obstacles He has left for you.” Father LaRosa insisted, and I shook my head.

“I want to believe you, Father; I truly do, but I can’t... Not with what I’ve been told.” I stepped out of the confessional and continued up the aisle with my head downcast as I wiped the steady falling tears from my eyes.

I was almost to the door when a steady hand grabbed my shoulder, spinning me around and bringing me into a heavily robed chest.

“Father, this is- I don’t-” I stuttered out surprised and not knowing how to respond to his embrace.

“Ssh, child. Be still and calm yourself.” He instructed, pulling me closer and pressing my head to his chest.

My tears were soaking through his robes as I listened to his steady heartbeat and even though I wanted to pull away, he kept me close to him until my tears started to dry and I calmed down.

“Always still.”


	3. S I N   a n d   S A I N T

**~Father LaRosa~**

....:::: Two Weeks Later ::::....

Since the day at the confessional, my mind has been consumed with thoughts of the beautiful pale blue-eyed Angel that poured his heart out to me. Since then, things haven’t been the same. It’s like I’m seeing him everywhere, but there is no way I could really approach him in public without it seeming suspicious.

During my sermons, I would find myself looking at him throughout most of it and every now and then he would come into the church and just sit quietly in the back with his head down.

I made it my goal to get to know him, so I would sometimes silently come over and just sit next to him.

At first, it was silence with the two of us just sitting next to each other but slowly, he began to talk to me, and I would pull him to my side and just listen. He never wanted me to say anything back to him; he would just tell me to listen before he began to tell me whatever it was that was on his mind that day.

I discovered that his name was Dylan; so I could stop referring to him as Lynche’s boy in my head, his mother was not the kindest to him, he liked to play guitar although he doesn’t have one of his own, he used to sing until his older brother picked on him about it and his sister was off at university, and among other things he preferred to be at the church alone even though he considered himself a sinner.

Three more days had passed before I gave him my old guitar, and the look on his face touched my heart and made me want him even more. I just had to come up with a way to make it so.

****

It’s been 5 days since the last time Dylan had come by the church, and I had grown beyond worried. He hadn’t made it to Sunday’s service, which was way out of his character and when I casually asked his parents about it, they said that he was sick.

After everyone had left, I had decided to stick around the church for a while in hopes that he would show up. I spent my time cleaning and dusting, and when I got to the confessional, I stopped and stepped inside.

I closed my eyes and replayed the first moment I saw his face. The tears streaming down his cheeks couldn’t hide his beauty, and I wanted nothing more than for him to be with me from that moment.

I was brought out of my thoughts by the other side opening and someone stepping inside.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” The moment I heard his voice, my whole body jerked alive.

“Dylan?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking as I slid the board over so I could see my Angel.

He gasped when his name left my lips, but he otherwise kept his head down, so I only saw his hair.

“What’s wrong child, what have you come to confess?” I questioned, and I could hear his labored breaths as if he was crying or angry.

“God, I wish I never spoke.” He sighed, running his hand through his hair.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Adultery.” The word was whispered, and after the word left his lips, he promptly exited the confessional.

I followed him and caught his wrist just as he was about to leave.

“Stop hating yourself so much. Your previous sins could be forgiven, but this, Dylan I-” I stopped myself.

I wanted to be his first, and right now, I didn’t know if what I was planning to say was based on religion or my personal feelings for him.

He turned to me with narrowed eyes, and that’s when I noticed his blacked eye.

“No, please continue Father. You what?” He questioned, clearly angry despite the flowing tears.

“Dylan...” I was at a complete loss for words as he let out an emotionless chuckle.

“As I thought.”

With that, he snatched his arm from my grasp and left out the doors to the church.

****

**~Dylan~**

....:::: 4 Weeks Later::::....

It’s been a while since the confessional incident, and while Father LaRosa was still friendly, something seemed a bit off. We still sat after church hours, and he would always listen to me talk and give me advice, but something overall seemed different, and I didn’t know whether that was a good or bad thing.

Today I had checked in at the church, but I couldn’t find Father LaRosa anywhere. I guess I was so used to him being there that I forgot that he had a life outside of church. I don’t really know what priests do outside of the church, and it never really crossed my mind to ask Father LaRosa either because I was so caught up in my own mess.

It was a beautiful day outside, and I found myself sitting in the grass at the park, watching people pass, and children play. A few happy dogs ran by with their owners not far behind.

A cute little Siberian Husky puppy hopped into my lap. Those were my favorite dogs, and I couldn’t help but get excited as the angry-looking black and white pup stared at me with blue eyes and a lolled tongue.

“Oh. Where is your owner... Sebastian.”? He was wearing a collar with his name on it, and I wanted to squeal like a girl with how cute his name was.

I looked around and saw no one, and as I patted him and baby talked, the little guy peed all over my pants legs, and I couldn’t even get angry at him.

“Sebby? Come here, Sebby!” A voice called, and the puppy jumped up and yipped and barked as it took off in the direction the voice came from.

I was surprised when he came sprinting back into my lap and just as I was about to stand to 1) take the energetic pup back to its owner and 2) get out of my now pee soaked clothes, I heard the ever familiar voice call my name.

I looked up at jean covered legs and craned my head even further to see a basic tee shirt. It took me a minute to process the fact that it was actually Father LaRosa standing in front of me dressed so casually because I’m so used to seeing him in his priest robes.

“Father LaRosa?” I had to ask to make sure that I saw correctly, and his light blue eyes twinkled in the sunlight as he laughed.

“Please call me Salvatore. I feel all weird when you call me that, and we’re not in church.” He replied and stuck a hand down to help me up.

I took it and scooped Sebastian up as well, and he barked and licked my face.

“The little guy got away from me. I’m glad he ran into you though.” He said with a half-smile, and for some odd reason, I found myself blushing.

“It’s no problem...You don’t have to worry about him peeing though.” I joked, and his eyes widened as he saw my pants.

“I’m so sorry. Sebby tends to do that when he gets excited. I take it you rubbed his head?” I nodded at his question, and he laughed and shook his head.

“I feel bad. You can come back to my place, and I’ll wash your clothes for you.” He offered.

“Wow.” I couldn’t stop the word from leaving my lips, and he quirked an eyebrow.

“What is it?” He questioned.

“It’s just that I’m not used to seeing you like this.” I gestured to him.

“I’m used to the robes and ‘my child,’ and ‘stay on the path of God.’ This is just... shocking,” I admitted.

“Come on. Let’s get you out of those clothes.” He laughed as he turned and took off walking.

****

“You really didn’t need to do this,” I said for about the 10th time as I patted Sebastian.

The little guy wouldn’t leave me alone and even followed me into the bathroom when I first got here to shower.

I was currently sitting at Father LaRosa’s kitchen table as he changed the clothes in the laundry room.

“It’s the least I could do. Your clothes should be dry in a minute.” He informed me before he came around the corner.

For a 46-year-old with grey hair; not sure whether that was intentional or not, he had an excellent sense of style when it came to things outside of the church.

“I’ll get your clothes back to you after I wash them,” I said.

“I see Sebby likes you more than he likes me.” He joked, and I laughed along.

I won’t lie, this was awkward because I was so used to seeing him in church. I had no idea what to talk to him about.

“Yeah, he’s super cute,” I replied, ruffling his ears before setting him on the floor and watching him run off somewhere in the back of the house.

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” He questioned.

“Oh, no thank you, Fath-” He gave me a pointed look.

“Salvatore.” I corrected.

“I feel like I’ve overstayed my visit.” I finished.

“Nonsense. You are more than welcome in my home, Dylan.” He ensured, and my stomach chose that moment to rumble loudly.

“And it seems as though your stomach agrees with me. Are you allergic to anything?” He asked, moving around the kitchen to prepare food.

“I can eat something when I get home,” I replied, and he paused to give me another look.

“Okay, you’re right. I don’t want to go home, but I feel weird. I’m not used to this.” I sighed.

“It’s nothing to feel weird about. I’m just looking after you. Now, are you allergic to anything?” He asked again.

“No.” I gave up and responded as I propped my head on my hands and watched as he cooked something.

.

.

.

I hadn’t realized that I had fallen asleep until Father LaRosa lightly shook my shoulder as he set a plate down in front of me.

“You looked so peaceful, so I didn’t want to wake you.” He said, sitting across from me with a plate of his own.

“Oh, gosh. Please tell me I wasn’t asleep long... Or that I wasn’t snoring for that matter.” I replied instantly feeling embarrassed.

**~Father LaRosa~**

“I can promise you; you didn’t snore much,” I replied with a laugh and he let out a deep breath of air.

“Good.” He nodded to himself, and I shook my head and picked up my fork to begin to eat the dinner I made, **_especially _**for him.

“Dig in. I don’t want your food to get cold.” I insisted, and he let out a sheepish chuckle before doing as told.

I smiled to myself as I continued to eat my own meal. We shared light conversation, and once he finished off his glass, he immediately froze in his chair.

“F-Father?” He stuttered out, sounding wounded as he finally realized something wasn’t right with what he had just consumed.

“It’s okay child. I’m not going to hurt you.” I replied and watched as he tried to stand and leave but fell back into his chair.

“I-I trusted you.” He whispered out, his eyes fighting to stay open to see what my next move was.

I tilted my head to the side as I brushed my hand across his soft cheek, the smile never leaving my face.

“Never trust a devil in priest clothing.”


	4. P A S S I O N   a n d   R E V E L A T I O N

**~Dylan~**

I woke up to a soft pressing against my lips. First, I felt confusion, and then the shock settled in as I tried to sit up but soon realized that I couldn’t.

“I see you’re finally awake.” The sound of Fath- Salvatore said.

At this point, it didn’t even feel right calling him Father.

“Why did you do this?” I made sure to keep my eyes on him.

He sat next to me on the bed and brushed his hand through my hair. My initial reaction was to flinch away, but after a while, I found myself nearly falling asleep again from how relaxed his actions made me feel.

“It’s fine for you to go back to sleep love.” He cooed in my ear, and I found myself succumbing to sleep.

****

When I woke up the second time, I found that I was no longer restrained, and I sat up to find myself in only one of his plaid button-downs that just barely covered my butt, but the sleeves were way longer than my arms. I ran a hand through my hair before swinging my legs off the side of the bed before getting up to go find Salvatore.

I walked over to the door, and as soon as I reached for the doorknob, it swung open, and I was met with Salvatore holding a plate in his hand. I glanced warily at it, and he chuckled.

“I promise you that nothing is wrong with it. I also apologize for my actions earlier.” He said, and I stepped back as he entered, handing me the plate as he sat on the bed.

I followed behind him and sat down, taking a wary glance at him before picking up the fork and taking a small bite of the fluffy eggs. Once I determined that nothing was wrong with it, I continued to eat, and he smiled affectionately at me.

“Did you sleep well?” He questioned sliding closer to me as I instinctively pulled back and he got the message and returned to his original place.

“I am truly sorry for what I did earlier. I have no excuse for my actions, and you have every right to not trust me, and to be angry with me.” He said voice full of sincerity as he got down on his knees in front of me.

“I-it’s okay.” I don’t know what made me say it, but once the words were passed my lips, I knew that I genuinely meant it.

Upon the words leaving my lips, he smiled brightly, so bright that it changed the color of his eyes; made them lighter almost. He hugged my waist, pressing his face into my abdomen, which caused an involuntary shiver to run down my spine. He pulled back, a smile still on his face, and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“I truly am sorry.” He apologized again.

I hesitantly placed my hands on his cheeks and had to fight to keep them there as he closed his eyes and leaned into my touch.

“It’s okay Salvatore, I forgive you.” My words were clear this time around, and I gasped a bit when he turned his head and kissed my palm.

I shivered unintentionally, and he smiled before standing. He pulled me up as well and then held me as he began to dance; all the while humming a classical tune that seemed vaguely familiar.

“Dawn by J.R. Alexander.” He must have read the expression on my face, and I smiled as I joined in on the parts I knew from the sad yet beautiful piece.

We stopped dancing when he stopped humming, and I gave a shaky laugh as I looked up at him to find him already looking at me.

“What is it?” I questioned, and he shook his head.

“Nothing, just looking.” He replied honestly.

“Stop it; you’re making me feel awkward,” I grumbled, turning my head away from him.

“There’s no need to feel awkward.” He turned my face to look up at him.

“You’re beautiful.” At his words, he placed a soft kiss to my lips that had a harsh blush rising to my cheeks as I took a step back.

“S-Sal-” He cut me off by placing his finger upon my lips.

“Forget the titles and just feel.” He finished his sentence by hesitantly placing his lips to mine again as he pulled me closer.

At first, I was shocked. Then I melted into it the slightest bit as I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer.

“I-I don’t think we’re supposed to be doing this,” I muttered, my lips still brushing his as I spoke.

“God forgives all sins. Isn’t it He that designed our hearts to feel this way?” He placed his hand on my chest and took my hand to put on his.

Both our hearts were beating rapidly, and I dared a look up at his face to find him already staring at me like he always seemed to be doing.

“What is it about me that made you...” I couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Everything.”

“Everything?”

“Your smile, your eyes, your faith, your innocence, your radiance, your voice... Just you.” As he spoke, He trailed his kisses down my body until he got to just above my pelvic area.

“Why haven’t you taken this shirt of yet?” I asked the question before I could stop myself and instantly stopped playing with the sleeves of his shirt.

“I wanted to make sure this was what you really wanted before I continued any further. I’ve told you, Dylan, I never mean to hurt you or make you uncomfortable.”

He slowly started to unbutton the shirt exposing my naked body to his gaze. I did my best to stay still, but I was extremely self-conscious, mainly because of my scars.

“You’re so beautiful.” I was instantly beet red at his words.

He kissed his way up my body and finished it with a soft kiss to my lips before pulling back.

“I want to take care of you, but before we go any further than this, I have something I need to show you.” The tone of his voice, coupled with the look in his eye let me know that it was a serious matter.

I shook my head, and he grabbed my hand and lead me out of the room we were in and down the hall. He stopped outside the second to last door before pausing. That one pause though had me nervous as to what was behind the door.

He released a deep breath before swinging the door open, and I gasped as my eyes widened.

“We don’t have to use anything in this room. It’s just something I needed to show you.” I think this was the first time I heard him sound nervous.

I admit I was partially distracted as I looked at all the items that were hung on the wall and displayed on the built-in shelving of the room.

“This stuff is-”

“Come.” He cut me off as he took my hand and pulled me out of the room.

I took a glance back toward the open door before we had reached the room, we were previously in.

“I don’t understand,” I muttered, and he shook his head.

“We can discuss this later. Right now, I only want it to be us.” He led me over to the bed, and once I sat down, he rid himself of his clothes before kissing me.

This one was different, more passionate. It was like he was speaking to me as he guided me so I was lying on my back. He then pestered my entire body with light kisses while his hand stroking my erect member and I couldn’t help but giggle the slightest bit. I also couldn’t help the tears that began to pool in my eyes because never has someone treated me this way, even if what we were doing right now was sinning. I didn’t care, at least mentally, I didn’t.

“Are you ready?” He asked after a while of him teasing me.

I nodded despite the bundle of nerves that made their home in my stomach as he made home between my legs.

“Relax.” He instructed, running his hands along my slightly trembling thighs.

“I’m trying.” My voice was wracked with nerves at this point as I tried to calm myself down.

“Don’t force your body to do what it already knows, what it already wants.”

.

.

.

“Okay.”


End file.
